You Dumb Dumb!

If you're anything like me you abhor traffic. And if you live in Austin or have spent any amount of time here, you know that the roads are congested for most of the day.

It's been bad for a long time. I remember dubbing Mopac "Slowpac" about two years after getting here. That was 10 years ago. And now, with the influx of people and the exploding population in the last 3-4 years, it is a tad unbearable.

I began to notice my increasing road rage two and a half years ago when I was pregnant. I don't know if it was the hormones, the protective urge I suddenly felt, or simply the fact that with all the new drivers came a whole new set of rules. Whatever the case, I started to feel this bubbling rage that at times would spill over. I'd catch myself shouting at other people on the road, sometimes giving the finger, blaring down on my horn, shaking my head at their stupidity. I'm sure I looked like a lunatic. I certainly felt like one.

WHY must you cut me off?

Is it so hard to STAY IN YOUR LANE? (Seriously, if you can't, you need to trade in your Suburban for something smaller.)

GET OFF YOUR EFFING PHONE AND DRIVE!!!

Are you SERIOUSLY putting on mascara while driving at 70mph?!!!

Ohmygod, GOOOOOO!!

FML.

Some people can take the bus or ride their bikes to get around town. That's great if that is an option for you. Unfortunately I need my car for work. Cap Metro is not the most stellar transportation service, and riding the bus is not a very efficient use of your time if you are on a tight schedule. My daily Clone adventures and my son's to & fro's require me to be on my own timetable, not Cap Metro's.

I'm lucky enough to be self-employed and not forced to use the roads during peak hours in the morning or evening. I generally avoid those times altogether, sticking close to home or not leaving my office at all, and when I have to, I take the back roads, but even those are getting congested. Everyone is learning the secrets of the city. Damn it!

At 7:30 this morning when I was slamming on my brakes behind bad drivers on Capital of Texas Hwy, I started thinking about my grandfather, Paw. When I was little he'd pick me up nearly every afternoon and drive me to his house where I would hang out with him and Mawzy until my parents were off from work. He drove a chocolate brown King Cab truck that had a CB radio he talked on frequently, but the thing I remember most about riding in that truck is when someone would drive badly he'd shout out, "YOU DUMB DUMB!" At the time I found it funny, but as an adult dealing with lots of dumb dumbs behind the wheel, I'm positive that this was Paw's version of road rage. I also think that he probably didn't have the right of way half as often as he thought he did. I wonder how he'd react to the chaos wreaked by Austin motorists today?

Paw, decades before he became my best friend

It's easy to get frustrated at every wrong turn someone else makes, whether it's because they clearly earned their driver's license in a different country or simply because they are distracted, but I have learned that reacting to it by yelling, throwing my hands up or leaning on the horn only fuels my rage. Instead, starting today, I'm going to take a deep breath and channel my Paw, imagining the other driver feels 110% confident that he or she is driving politely. Then, with a smile on my face, I'm going to calmly say...You Dumb Dumb!!

At least that's the plan. I'm hoping I can make traffic one less thing to stress about.